This is currently the top story in the /Trees subreddit, and I thought it was worth sharing, both because of the events, and because of the way the redditor paints the picture of how he accidently gets his family stoned with cannabutter, which is hilarious.
Below you’ll find an unedited version of the story, which you can also read here.
MY ENTIRE FAMILY JUST ATE MY CANNABUTTER WHAT DO I DO??
Guys my naive mother used my CANNABUTTER to make dinner with. Apparently we were out of real butter and she used mine because she though it was “vegan butter”. My entire family just eat chicken made with high quality cannabutter. I have around 45 mins before it kicks in.WHAT DO I DO GUYS?
Edit -Sorry about the typo in the title I was in a hurry.
Edit 2-Guys I know I can just come clean and tell them. I will if it gets to the point where they are freaking out or something. I’m trying very hard to avoid them ever having to know.
Edit 3-No guys I’m not going to record it and embarrass my family for karma.
Edit 4-I think they are starting to feel it. Still haven’t told them anything. I think I am in denial about this whole thing.
Edit 5-My mother just asked me if there was anything wrong with my vegan butter. I decided to tell her it was really old, so they will all just think they have food poisoning or something.
Edit 6-I think my sister is asleep .My father is in some kind of trance with a giant smile on his face. He doesn’t seem to be freaking out. My mother on the other hand,is going ape shit and wants to go the hospital. My uncle keeps on trying to talk her out of it, ( because no one can drive so we would have to pay for an ambulance).
Edit 7-Wtf guys my uncle is barely affected and laughs his ass off every time he looks at me. I think he knows.
Edit 8-BIG UPDATE.Ok so my uncle definitely knows. He noticed what it was when he ate it,but he didn’t say anything about it for whatever fucking reason intill after everyone ate it. He approached my dad about it,Who said he had no idea but that my mom used my “vegan butter”. So my uncle told him what was up,so that is why my father has not been freaking out.My father is slightly more liberal about drugs then I thought,apparently he smoked in high school but still didn’t recognize the taste. He is the type who likes Ronald Regan and Donald Trump so I’m kinda surprised. My father keeps trying to get pissed and scold at me,but the weed is preventing him from being mad for more then 30 seconds. My sister has locked herself in her room since after dinner so I assume/hope she is just sleeping. My mother on the other hand (Who 100% has never done any drugs, including alcohol/coffee/cigs) has been freaking out pretty bad.She has been having a intense existential crisis. I can get into more details about that later. She is greening out at this point and just threw up. I’m hoping that she puked some of the THC out. But it could have already absorbed into her body idk. My uncle has been doing a pretty great job at talking her down and convincing her to ride it out (She still thinks it is food poisoning)Some of you guys don’t understand that my mother CAN NOT KNOW SHE TOOK WEED .It would make the situation 100x worse. I will keep you guys updated if anything interesting happens.
Edit 9-Just to make to clear everything up
1.my sister has been in her room the entire time since after dinner this isn’t strange for her so I think she is sleeping
2.My dad knows because my uncle told him.
3.My uncle knows because he is a fucking pothead
4.Mother is feeling better,She is just laying down on her bed at this point. She had some kind of epiphany about how boring her life is and how she wish she never gave up on doing art work etc etc. She got sick for awhile but appears better now.
5.AND FOR THE 1000TH TIME MY MOTHER CAN NOT KNOW SHE TOOK WEED.ME,MY UNCLE,AND MY DAD ALL DECIDED THAT IS AN AWFUL IDEA.SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT WEED IS.ALL SHE KNOWS ABOUT IT IS FROM REEFER MADNESS ERA SHIT.IT WILL DEFIANTLY FREAK HER OUT WAY WAY WORSE IF SHE KNEW.
Edit 10-I’m really #1 in /r/all.
Please let this be a cautionary tail to NEVER have your drugs in the family fridge.
Edit 11-I will try to update in a couple days about all the aftermath/more detail. Me and my uncle decided to eat the rest of the cannabutter. So I won’t update here unless something especially crazy happens.
Edit 12-Ok guys I added spaces between sentences,and no I’m not a vegan.
So, what did you think guys? Of course with Reddit, part of the hilarity is in the comments, and this deserves a mention:
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